Those Aren't Trees, Stupid!

I just love listening to the kids. They have the best conversations. Here's one we had recently while driving home in the middle of an awesome sunset.

Sweet Pea: Wow! Look at those clouds. It's all pink and purple!
Daddy: That's an awesome sunset.
Mommy: The clouds are all lined with white!
Snickers: It looks like the edges are burning.

We went on and on like this for a couple of minutes. Then out of the silence:

Doodlebug: Hey, look at those trees!
Sweet Pea: What trees?
Doodlebug: Over there....wait.
Sweet Pea: Those aren't trees, stupid! That's the clouds. What do you think we've been talking about?
Doodlebug: Shut up!

Quack!

You've Seen It. You Can't Un-See It.

   I know. I know. Where have I been? I'm such a slacker! But anyway, on to other things.

Have you ever watched a movie, then realized that you just wasted an hour and a half that you could never get back? One of those "You've seen it. You can't un-see it"  moments. Well, I recently saw the movie 'Buried' with Ryan Reynolds. (Warning, this contains major spoilers)

What a terrible movie! The entire movie takes place in a box underground. Ryan Reynolds has been buried alive by terrorists. But they left him with a cell phone. Thank goodness. So, you spend the whole movie rooting for him, waiting for the final uplifting moment when he is rescued. When he is saved and reunited with his loved ones. When he gets to stick his middle finger up at the terrorists then get on with his life. But does that happen? Noooooooo! (said with great disgust).

At the very end, as they are digging him out, as the sand filters through the top of the box, threatening to bury him, piling higher and higher. As he yells and shouts into the cell phone, telling them to hurry. What happens? You hear on the cell phone, "Ooops. Wrong box." (or something very along those lines). Then the sand filtering through the box fills up the box, presumably burying him alive and filling his lungs with sand and then that's it.

Yep, that's right. The movie ends there.

No last minute breaking through the box. No sunlight streaming in. No coughing and gasping as he breaks through the sand and breathes in fresh air. No crying, tearful reunions. Just death, darkness and despair. What the *@#k!!!! You've gotta be kidding me!

I hate! Absolutely hate! Those kind of movies! I watch movies to be entertained. But not entertained by being horrified, depressed and angry. I want to be satisfied, happy even, when a movie ends. Inspired or joyous, sometimes thoughtful is OK. But I don't want the main character, or the main character's children and spouses and pets, to die in terrible ways (or in any way). Come on! If I want that crap I'll read the newspaper. I'll go to cnn.com or foxnews.com.

I want happiness damn it!

So, if you feel the same way I do, do not watch this movie! And whatever you do, don't watch 'What Dreams May Come' - that was a terrible movie too! One of those let's-see-how-many-terrible-things-can-happen-to-a-person-in-one-movie kind of movies. And also avoid Bridge to Terrabithia. I'm sure there are a few others I could mention but I try to put them out of my mind.

 Quack!

Oh God! Let Me Off!

  For your viewing pleasure, and because I like this photo:

Against the blue sky

Ferris wheel, circling, circling

Around and around

Alternate version:

Against the blue sky

Ferris wheel, circling, circling

Oh god! Let me off!

Quack!

Since I Haven't Bored You With Stories of My Pets Lately . . .

Alright, no boring pet stories. I'll give you a break. You're welcome. Instead, just a few photos of the cat. That vile little beastie as I sometimes call her. (although for a cat she's really not so bad.)

May I have some please?

The Stare-Down

Crazy cat will sit in and on anything. Anything!

Quack!

Thirty Foot Boa Constrictor

  I recently blogged about a hike the family took a few weeks ago. While we were climbing the hill we saw the most enormous snake you've ever seen! Thankfully it was moving away from us. I think it was some sort of boa constrictor. It must have been at least 30 feet long! It was amazing!

(OK, so it was just some sort of drainage system. But don't tell the kids. The snake story is so much more fun!)

Quack!

A Tree Went Striding By

  I never thought I'd see a walking tree, but the other day as I was strolling through the woods a tree went striding by. Before I knew it, it walked right off the side of the hill. It was quite a sight!

Quack!

The Chips Are A-Flyin'

So there I was, sitting at the computer desk. Behind me was a short dresser with two gerbil cages on the top. There was a lot of rustling. Then some kicking. Then a handful of gerbil chips (bedding) came flying out. I turned around. Both gerbils were just looking at me. I said hello and turned back to the computer.

Before I knew it, there were more chips flying. I could hear them raining down into the assorted piles of stuff that accumulates in that room. I turned around again to see what they were doing. They just looked at me, all wide eyed and innocent. Who, us?

I got back to work.

A minute later, more rustling, followed by chips flying. One hit the back of my head.

I turned again and caught one of them kicking chips out behind him. He turned, looked at me, and smirked. Then he scurried off.

Damn gerbils! (If only they were big enough to push the vacuum cleaner!)

Quack!