Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!!

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Ho Ho H!

The other day Sweet Pea noticed that the odometer on the car read 40404. A nice number, isn't it? Nice and symmetrical, full of 4s and 0s. But, to make it even better, I pointed that upside down it read hohoh! Merry Christmas Car! Ho ho h!

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You're Going to Hell Mom

So, the other day Sweet Pea and I were in Target looking at the snow globes. They had all sorts of sparkly, musical, pretty little scenes, from Santa and Christmas Trees to woodland critters like owls, deer and bears, to more religious themes with angels, doves, manger scenes and such. But there was one that had me puzzled for a bit until I realized it was Obi Wan Kenobi with his chocolate candy cane. He was dressed in a brown robe with a huge chocolate candy cane that was as tall as he was.

Sweet Pea kindly informed me that I was going to hell.
 
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Tiny Snowflakes

So, we were making snowflakes the other day and we ran out of paper. Not to be discouraged, we decided to use the scraps and just make small snowflakes. It turned into a contest of sorts to see who could make the smallest snowflake. And then there were arguments about what was a valid snowflake what wasn't. It it was so small that only one tiny cut could be made, did that count? It went on for quite a while. I won't bore you with the details, but here are some of the results:

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Snowflake Blisters

  It's winter. Well, not yet officially. We have a few more days. But it's snowed already, so as far as I'm concerned, it's winter. Winter solstice be darned!

And since Christmas is quickly approaching, we are in full Christmas mode. Christmas music, cookies, decorations, the works.

The other day we fired up Elf - that delightful Christmas move with Will Farrell. Actually, last year was the first time we ever watched it, but I think we found a new tradition. It's fun, funny, ridiculous, heart-warming - all that stuff. You know where he decorates the house with all the paper snowflakes and paper chains and stuff? Well, that looks really cool. So we got out some white paper and all the scissors we could find and all of us (except the hubby who isn't a big fan of paper and scissors and glue and anything resembling crafts) got to work making snowflakes. After the first 30 or so my finger was a little sore, but after the next 30 I had a full blown snowflake blister!

All of us made some awesome snowflakes:

All that cutting and careful snipping through 6 layers of paper was tedious (and fun), but my poor little finger had a boo boo! I was going to let it rest for a bit on a fluffy pillow with a warm drink but I just couldn't part with it, so it came along while I hung the snowflakes up. And let me tell you, it's not as easy as you'd think to hang snowflakes like they did in the movie - strung all over the room - zig-zagging and cross-hatching and looking like a regular ol' winter wonderland. I mean, I know he's a Christmas Elf and all, and has super Elf powers for Christmas decorating, but I thought I was up to it. I guess I'm not made to be a Christmas elf. But I managed to get a few up without poking the ceiling full of holes. We have a nice snow storm over our Christmas village:

Next up, decorating the living room. I can already hear the hubby muttering about the snowflakes in front of the TV, blocking his view of Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas!


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Once in a Blue Moon

Do you know what amazing event is to occur this month? What rare and wonderful thing is going to amaze and amuse us? That's right! A blue moon. (I'm going by the "two full moons in one month" definition. If you want a full explanation check out the Wikipedia entry). Blue moons only occur once every 2-3 years.

August 31st will be the second full moon in the month of August. We're going to celebrate with 'Blue Moon Cookies' (half moons frosted blue) and some as-yet-to-be-decided events.

Maybe Blue Moon Pizza with blue cheese, or a Blue Moon Movie Marathon where we get to watch any movie we haven't watched in a blue moon. Hmmmm - I have some planning to do.

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Happy Valentines Day

These crackers are just begging for a peanut-buttering. Mmmmm.

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The Most Colorful Cake in the World

I can honestly say I recently made the most colorful cake I have ever seen.

The most colorful batter in the world:

The baked cake:

The top half:

The finished product:

Tasting time:

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Electric Frosting and Mortal Peril

For my boys, as with all boys I'm sure, while playing, anything and everything is a weapon, from cardboard wrapping paper tubes, to folded up paper, to food, stuffed animals, LEGOs, you name it. Just about anything, with a little imagination can be a weapon. It's quite entertaining.

I remember fondly the days when White Kitty would shoot electric frosting.

And it's not only toys-as-weapons, it's the entire thought process - pirates and bad guys, lava and avalanches, tornadoes, wars, battles, monsters, dragons, evil sisters and on and on and on.

Just the other day one of the boys was singing a Christmas carol. I heard from the down the hall, ringing with youthful exuberance, the dulcet, tenor tones of

"Here we are in mortal peril, Fa la la la la la la la la"

I explained that it was supposed to be "Don we now our gay apparel" and explained what 'don', 'gay' and 'apparel' were.

He listened carefully, nodded sagely, then raced away with his sword in hand singing, "Here we are in mortal peril, fa la la la la la la la la". Apparently, his version is better.

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Christmas Skeletons

  Yes, I know. It's the Christmas season. But sometimes you have to have a little fun. I mean, Christmas cookies are awesome. Tasty little morsels of chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon and ginger, lots of icing and sprinkles, lots of red and green, trees and holly, snowmen and santas, presents and bells and stars and skeletons. Yes, that's right - skeletons. While making dozens upon dozens of gingerbread men I got bored and decided to decorate a little more unconventionally:

I must say, these gingerbread men taste even better than the ones with the red and green frosting. I think it's because they are unexpected - one of those 'Is that a skeleton cookie? It isn't Halloween is it? I thought it was Christmas?" kind of moments.

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You MAKE that Stuff?!?

So, as I said, Christmas cookie season is upon us. I grew up with a mother who baked lots and lots and lots of many different kinds of cookies each Christmas season and I carry on the tradition - not all the same cookies, but a nice variety. The other day, Sweet Pea had a friend over as the baking fest was just getting underway.

It quickly became apparent that this little girl was not from a family that does a lot of baking. As I gathered up the dough, the rolling pin, some cookie cutters and some flour the questions began:

Girl: What's the white powder? (refering to the flour that I was sprinkling on the tabletop and the cookie dough to keep things from sticking).

Girl: Who makes this dough?
Sweet Pea: My Mom.
Girl: Your Mom MAKES it?!?!?
Sweet Pea: Yea, homemade is much better!
Girl: Stuff, stuff, munch, munch (I think she agreed)

Me: I'm out of green sprinkles so we'll use the red ones. I could make more green, but the red will do.
Girl with incredulous look on her face: You can make sprinkles?? How do you do that?

And throughout the process there was A LOT of "Can I do this?" "Can I help?" "Oooh oooh let me! Let me"

She had the time of her life rolling out the dough, cutting the cookies, marveling over the dough and the sheer quantity of it:
"Your Mom made ALL the dough?!?!"

I'm just so used to baking and all that goes into it that I find it funny when someone is amazed by the process.

On a similar note, in Sweet Pea's home-ec class recently they did some baking. Hearing her tell about the other girls not knowing some of the cooking basics that Sweet Pea takes for granted was amusing. Sweet Pea could have taught that lesson!

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Christmas Music Makes Me Stabby

  The other day as I was making hundreds of thousands of Christmas cookies, the hubby tuned the radio to a station playing Christmas music. While I generally prefer to bake to heavy metal with screaming guitars, screaming singers, lots of swearing, foul language and heavy drum beats, I had to admit that some holiday music was more appropriate for the situation. My tendency to beat the imaginary drum sticks sometimes interferes with the baking process and we end up with dough on the walls and ceiling and fist prints in the frosting. Something a little more in tune with the season seemed to be in order. So I didn't complain.

However, after hearing some of the song choices the DJs chose to play I was feeling downright stabby:

Blue Christmas is Elvis. Ok. Elvis is cool. But come on! Those uber-annoying whoo-ooo-ooo-oo parts throughout the song are enough to drive me insane after hearing it once, let alone 6 times!

And what's with Dean Martin referring to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as 'Rudy'? Sacrilege!! Give the deer some respect! Use his full name. It's bad enough he missed out on years of reindeer games and spiked eggnog, but to call him Rudy?!? Inexcusable. And stupid.

Then there's Jewel breaking down into yodeling and jazz scat on Winter Wonderland. All I can say is WTF!

And I get that Taylor Swift is cute, and a good singer. And I know that she has a pretty good version of Santa Baby if you don't mind the country music twang thrown in and the fact that she is WAY too virtuous to be singing that song. But do we really have to hear that version over and over and over? There are other, much better versions out there. How about the original? Or even Madonna's version. Madonna at least has the personality to pull it off. Has Lady Gaga done a version yet?

And I think it may be Michael Buble singing Oh Holy Night. Or maybe it's Josh Groban. I really have no idea, but whoever it is, it's a god-awful, slow, put me to sleep version of an awesome holiday tune. Zzzz, wha? Oh, did I fall asleep in the cookie dough again? Let 's get something with a little bit of life on the radio!

And speaking of falling asleep, or being put to sleep, what is up with the annoyingly slow, bordering on depressing, versions of Silver Bells, Home for Christmas, and many others? Isn't Christmas supposed to be a happy time? Full of fun, love, laughter, family, giving, etc? I don't want to fall asleep in my Christmas pudding while listing to Christmas songs. Nor do I want to cower in a dark corner contemplating self harm due to overplaying of slow, depressing renditions of songs that should be uplifting.

After a mere two hours of that (and I tried several different radio stations) I was ready to kill - either myself or the Christmas tree, or the radio. Gah! I'm feeling stabby!! Time to switch to some Christmas CDs with good music, or some nice soothing heavy metal.

Quack!

The Fake Plastic Musty Scent of Christmas

So a couple of weeks ago (I know - old news!) we dragged the Christmas tree out of the basement. Doesn't that sound so un-holiday-like? I pull the bin off the shelf, drag it across the cold concrete floor, bump-thump-bang-crash it around the corner and up the stairs, hoping that I don't lose my grip and send it crashing to the bottom of the stairs where it will surely crush the cat.

Then we open the bin and the lovely scent of fresh pine musty plastic fake pine needles wafts out. Aaaah - the smell of Christmas.

The kids all love to help sort out the branches and put them in the trunk. I follow along behind fluffing them. No, really. They need fluffing. They've been mashed in a box for almost a year.

Then the next two hours is spent on swearing over the fact that NONE of the GD light strings from last year work, even though they worked fine when we packed them away last year. Fortunately I am now prepared for this and stock up on lights each year.

Then the next couple of hours the kids put throw the ornaments carefully on the tree. I follow along behind rearranging, otherwise, the same 10 branches in the bottom half of the tree, in the front, get all the ornaments. 

Child X: Mom! Why did you move that?
Me: Well, there were four ornaments on that branch. I couldn't see the ones behind.
Child X: But I liked it where it was!

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Actual Marshmallows Were Roasted

  About a month back we all went to my brother and sister-in-law's to celebrate Father's day with my dad and family. And what's Father's day without a nice Father's day bonfire? It's traditional, isn't it? The Father's day bonfire? Well, it should be. Here's what it looked like:

Once the 100 foot flames settled down to a nice toasty 20 foot fire, we got out the roasting sticks. Here's a nice shot of a Cheeto roasting over the open flames. Nothing better than blackened Cheetos, right? Nice and crispy charred on the outside and soft ashy on the inside? Maybe not so much. But worth trying.

And, as a side comment, don't try roasting circus peanuts. They may be vaguely marshmallowy in texture and taste, but don't be fooled. Have you ever wondered what happens when you burn a chunk of plastic over an open flame? Much the same as what happens when you burn a circus peanut over an open flame - noxious fumes and napalm-like orange goo, dripping and oozing and turning quickly into carmelized, bubbling, oil (which bubbled for much longer than was natural). Oh my god! It was frightening. (See, that's why high fructose corn syrup is bad for you! It does the same thing in your stomach. Really.)

On the other hand, actual marshmallows were also roasted and they were delicious, delightful and de-gooey! I ate many!

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Leprechaun Traps and Cakes and Stuff

 Happy St. Patrick's Day! I wasn't creative at all this year for St. Patrick's day, but I had to blog about something, so here's some pictures from the last few years where I did manage to get my butt in gear and do something creative:

The leprechaun trap:

We almost managed to catch one. We could tell by the scattering of gold coins and the dirty, tiny footprints, that he had fallen in the trap. Unfortunately, he escaped. But it was a fun experiment anyway.

And  here's the leprechaun cake. This one was fun to make!

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Candy Covered 56 Cake

  My parent's had their 56th anniversary recently (Holy Cow!!!) And this is their colorful cake:

In case you're wondering, those little colorful balls are Sixlets. Tasty little chocolate 'flavored' treats. A little strange, but tasty.

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For your Valentine's Day viewing pleasure, here are some hearts:

Delicious heart-shaped sandwich cookies:

Delicious 'heart-shaped' breakfast cookies (Cookie Crisp)

A heart charm

 A heart rock

Hearts

 

And some delicious chocolate hearts

Quack!