Banana Guilt

  There is a banana on my desk. It is looking at me. I felt guilty so I didn't eat it. I had some chocolate instead.

Quack!

I Decided to Wear my Coffee Today

The title says it all. 'Nuff said.

Quack!

Our TV Is Portal To Another World

  A few weeks ago our TV died. Were sorry to see it go, but it had lived a long and fruitful life. We moved it out of the living room and it stayed in the hallway for a few days until it was laid to rest. And that TV, that had shared so much magic with us over the years, shared a final bit of magic before leaving.

You see, it was in the hallway and there was a little space behind it. Just enough space for a small cat to squeeze through. She squeezed through that space many time each day. She would squeeze through, coming out on the other side. Then she'd circle around and squeeze through again. She did this over and over.

I think she may have been expecting to come out in Narnia. And for all I know, maybe sometimes she did. There are often times when I wander around looking for the cat and she is nowhere to be found. She could very well have travelled through a portal to another world. In fact, I'm sure that's what happened. Why else would she continue to circle the TV if not for the purpose of just waiting for the exact moment when the portal was active.

Thank you TV for giving the cat something to do.

Quack!

Come on! Come on! Can we open 'em now? Huh? Huh? Can we?

  When I was young (Here I go again, waxing nostalgic. You can tell me to shut up if you want. Right in the comments. Go ahead! I know you want to!) we had a lot of holiday traditions. Things like the advent calendar, candy house, cookie-baking, tree decorating, moving the wise men closer to the manger each night, etc. Lots of good memories and fun times!

But one of the funniest traditions to think back on is Christmas morning. You know how in the movies and in books and such the kids get up on Christmas morning and run downstairs and tear into their presents - wrapping paper and bows flying, boxes and tissue wrap willy-nilly, presents being extracted from boxes with wild abandon and shouts of glee?

Yeah, well, not so much. It was much more controlled and sedate when I was young. In fact, it was exactly the opposite of the way it happens in the movies. I'm not saying it was bad, just, um, different. It went like this:

• We would get up (I don't recall at what time, but I'm sure it was rather early. After all, we were excited! Santa had come!). 
• We would gaze in admiration at the tree and the pile of presents beneath it (a household with six kids always had a lot of presents beneath it). 
• We would sigh, knowing we couldn't touch anything until the moment was right. We had to wait until the parents were up. (Of course - this is a requirement in my own house today - I want to witness.)

( Come on! Come on! Can we open 'em now? Huh? Huh? Can we?)

And once they were up, well, we had to wait until breakfast was made - something extravagant usually like pancakes or waffles, coffee and cookies, eggs, a regular 5 course meal.

( Come on! Come on! Can we open 'em now? Huh? Huh? Can we?)

Then we had to wait some more until, well, I don't know, until we couldn't wait a minute more.

( Come on! Come on! Can we open 'em now? Huh? Huh? Can we?)

Then, Dad would meander slowly out to the living room and take his place near the tree. He would take his time and drag it out.

After much delay, he would begin to pass out gifts to the family who was anxiously bouncing on the couch in anticipation. Come on! Come on! Can we open 'em now? Huh? Huh? Can we?

Then, slowly. Oh so slowly. He would pass out the gifts. One at a time. Each was to be savored like a fine wine or a bit of chocolate. We would all watch as each gift was opened, anxiously awaiting our own gifts.

(Is that one for me? Is it mine? Huh? Huh? Is it?)

But it did make the whole experience last longer. And despite how funny, silly and torturous it sounds while recounting it, I wouldn't change it a bit. We all got the full experience of every gift, each bow and wrapper, and the expressions on the faces of those opening them. It may have been a bit over the top, a little much, but hey, I made it through, right? And I can tell my kids all about it and exaggerate to my hearts content because I can. 
 
Quack!

Saved By Santa

Twas the night before Christmas
And as I reached for the cat,
Lightning shot from my fingers
It knocked off my hat.

Static electricity -
Zinging from my fingers.
Prickling and sparking
Like a hive full of stingers.

And since she's a cat
wouldn't you expect,
That she would claw and hiss
until my arm was a wreck?

But no - with a glance over her shoulder,
With barely a twitch,
She regarded me as little more
Than a worm in a ditch

I breathed a sigh of relief
At the lack of spitting and claws.
I think she knows he is watching -
Good Ol' Santa Claus

 Quack!

Ho Ho H!

The other day Sweet Pea noticed that the odometer on the car read 40404. A nice number, isn't it? Nice and symmetrical, full of 4s and 0s. But, to make it even better, I pointed that upside down it read hohoh! Merry Christmas Car! Ho ho h!

 Quack!

You're Going to Hell Mom

So, the other day Sweet Pea and I were in Target looking at the snow globes. They had all sorts of sparkly, musical, pretty little scenes, from Santa and Christmas Trees to woodland critters like owls, deer and bears, to more religious themes with angels, doves, manger scenes and such. But there was one that had me puzzled for a bit until I realized it was Obi Wan Kenobi with his chocolate candy cane. He was dressed in a brown robe with a huge chocolate candy cane that was as tall as he was.

Sweet Pea kindly informed me that I was going to hell.
 
Quack!

Tiny Snowflakes

So, we were making snowflakes the other day and we ran out of paper. Not to be discouraged, we decided to use the scraps and just make small snowflakes. It turned into a contest of sorts to see who could make the smallest snowflake. And then there were arguments about what was a valid snowflake what wasn't. It it was so small that only one tiny cut could be made, did that count? It went on for quite a while. I won't bore you with the details, but here are some of the results:

Quack!

Snowflake Blisters

  It's winter. Well, not yet officially. We have a few more days. But it's snowed already, so as far as I'm concerned, it's winter. Winter solstice be darned!

And since Christmas is quickly approaching, we are in full Christmas mode. Christmas music, cookies, decorations, the works.

The other day we fired up Elf - that delightful Christmas move with Will Farrell. Actually, last year was the first time we ever watched it, but I think we found a new tradition. It's fun, funny, ridiculous, heart-warming - all that stuff. You know where he decorates the house with all the paper snowflakes and paper chains and stuff? Well, that looks really cool. So we got out some white paper and all the scissors we could find and all of us (except the hubby who isn't a big fan of paper and scissors and glue and anything resembling crafts) got to work making snowflakes. After the first 30 or so my finger was a little sore, but after the next 30 I had a full blown snowflake blister!

All of us made some awesome snowflakes:

All that cutting and careful snipping through 6 layers of paper was tedious (and fun), but my poor little finger had a boo boo! I was going to let it rest for a bit on a fluffy pillow with a warm drink but I just couldn't part with it, so it came along while I hung the snowflakes up. And let me tell you, it's not as easy as you'd think to hang snowflakes like they did in the movie - strung all over the room - zig-zagging and cross-hatching and looking like a regular ol' winter wonderland. I mean, I know he's a Christmas Elf and all, and has super Elf powers for Christmas decorating, but I thought I was up to it. I guess I'm not made to be a Christmas elf. But I managed to get a few up without poking the ceiling full of holes. We have a nice snow storm over our Christmas village:

Next up, decorating the living room. I can already hear the hubby muttering about the snowflakes in front of the TV, blocking his view of Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas!


Quack!

Sucked Into the Pipeworks

OK. So, I'm sure you're familiar with those automatically flushing toilets. Great invention those things. When they work. My problem is that they rarely work. And it's not just user-error. I make sure to step away from the thing, so it knows I'm done. I'll wave my arms or I'll do a dance. Sometimes I'll remain motionless, pressed against the door, waiting for it to realize I'm done and flush.

But no, more often than not I'm forced to flush it myself.  And since they are supposed to automatically flush, there is no obvious way to flush them manually. I end up searching all around the thing for the secret hidden trigger to set the flusher in motion. Sometimes it's a little tiny button on the wall, sometimes a little tiny lever on the back of the toilet, sometimes a little button buried down in the middle of the pipes behind it all. In any case, it's a pain in the rear!

I really should just leave and not mess with finding the uber-secret trigger, but that's gross. No one wants to walk into the stall and see what I've left behind. I mean, really. Yuck!

So, I run my hands all over the pipes and toilet parts until I find the secret button. Then I go out and scrub my hands under hot water with extra soap for 10 minutes.

The other day I had the pleasure of visiting one of these little beauties that actually worked. And by 'worked', I mean it auto-flushed. However, I do not mean that it auto-flushed at the right time. In this case, it auto-flushed while I was sitting there. And not only did it auto-flush, but it auto-flushed with such power, such exuberance, such sheer, watery delight, that I was drenched. Yes, that's right. I actually put this on the internet. But we won't go into more detail than that. I suppose I should be grateful that I wasn't sucked into the pipeworks.

Now don't get me started on the automatic sinks and hand dryers!

 Quack!

Splattered With Glue and Covered in Buttons (Tarred and Feathered)

Doodlebug spent several minutes telling me about something he made in art class. Apparently they sketched out what they wanted, then they spent some time building this thing out of wood and painting it. He said it was very cool and I could tell that he liked it.

But then he continued, his voice rising in outrage with each sentence:

"And then the teacher splattered glue all over it! And made me stick buttons on it!! She said it was for (and here he made air quotes) 'a center of interest'!!"

Ah, poor Doodlebug. There's nothing like having someone who thinks they know exactly what your art needs, taking over and rearranging it their way.

That art teacher is single-handedly ruining art for all the ducklings! Buttons indeed!
 
Quack!

You've Been Chosen For a Squozen!

Bam! the rainbow ram came along with us on our trip. Bam! turned out to be quite the adventurer! He even has his own song:

Bam! Bam! The rainbow ram.
Such a dare-devil ram
He likes to be squoze.

No, that's not a typ-o. He does like to be squoze. And what, pray tell, is squoze? It's the past tense of squeeze. He really enjoys a good hug! It can also be used this way - "You've been chosen for a squozen!" And when you hear that, watch out! A hug is on the way.

In any case, here are some photos of Bam! at Disney:

Heading to the boardwalk:

Bam! enjoys a nice hearty breakfast:

Bam! likes to take risks. He enjoys playing with lions:

Bam! is a huge fan of Oprah!

Bam! wants to take a ride:

Getting a better view from the trees:

Bam! loves to mountain climb:

It's always good to look cool with superstar shades!

Bam! is very friendly and makes friends easily:

Bam! checking out the view:

Bam! wants to go for a swim but is afraid his woolly coat will shrink. He also forgot his swim trunks:

So Bam! decided to get an ice cream treat instead:

And then it was time to head home. Here's Bam! at the airport:

Bam! never looks back, only ahead. Ahead to his bright and awesome future:

Bam! had a great time on is vacation! And so did we!

Quack!

Stone Squirrels and Lemonade Slushies

Yes, I'm going to continue to bore entertain you with photos from my recent trip to Disney World. But I promise, only a few more posts like this.

A cool, colorful Florida flower:

The castle all lit up girly and pink:

The Beach Club resort:

An explosion at the stunt show at Hollywood Studios:

Stone busts at the Haunted Mansion at the Magic Kingdom:

A view into the trees:

Stone squirrels (almost as good as the real thing):

 The Cheshire Cafe in Fantasy Land at Magic Kingdom. For some reason I really liked this place and took several photos. We got lemonade slushies here:

 Quack!

Monsters, Bugs, Birds and Other Fun Things

There were a lot of fun things to see at the various parks. Here are a few:

Sully from Monster's Inc. at the Disney Hollywood Studios parade :

The 'Mine!' birds from Finding Nemo at Epcot's The Living Seas:

A plastic army guy from Toy Story giving autographs at Disney Hollywood Studios:

The stick bug from A Bug's Life at the parade at Disney Hollywood Studios:

Toy Story stuff in the parade:

The Tiki Birds!
(Both the hubby and I were glad that the Tiki Bird show was back to it's original format - sans
Iago from Aladdin and Zazu from the Lion King. But the kids were disappointed. They remembered that part from our last trip 5 years ago and thought it was boring without them.)

The blow fish from Finding Nemo:

 Quack!