Porpoise Orcs in the Jack Wagon

 A while back I listed some of my favorite curses of the kids. Well, it's time to add to that list. They are growing up, getting bigger and coming up with new things. Here are some of the latest:


Dip wad

Jerk wad

Diphthong - this one has a nice ring to it. I had to look it up because I couldn't remember what it really was - From wikipedia : "A diphthong, also known as a gliding vowel, refers to two adjacent vowel sounds occurring within the same syllable. In most dialects of English, the words eye, boy, and cow contain examples of diphthongs." but I think it makes a nice curse too.

Porpoise Orc - this also has a nice ring to it. I have no idea what it means.

Dork chop - this came from a book we were reading and we all cracked up upon reading it.

Jack Wagon - this is from a recent Geiko commercial and we all really like this one. It has a certain naughtiness to it, but really, it's not that bad, right?

And we made the mistake of telling the boys that "bloody" is a curse in some countries. They were amazed and spent quite a bit of a time saying bloody this and bloody that for several hours. It was amusing yet somehow disturbing. But it's definitely preferable to F#$%#% this and F#$%#% that so I won't complain.

But nothing beats 'hot snot rug' and 'foolie kadoolie' in my humble opinion.


Quack!

The Ferrous in the Land

So we have a cast iron skillet now. Pretty cool. I did some research and got a nice one off ebay. It works great! So far I've used it to make an awesome grilled cheese sandwich, some tasty scrambled eggs, some hash browns and a few other things. There was a study done in the 80's showing how foods cooked in cast iron pans, especially acidic foods, increased the iron content of the food, sometimes quite a bit. Cool!

I'm not anemic, but my iron levels when I give blood are always borderline. Sometimes I can give blood, sometimes I can't. It will be interesting to see if this makes a difference. I think it will. I've noticed an odd thing happening lately. Everytime I walk past the refrigerator, all the magnets shoot off the fridge and stick themselves to my body. I have to pry them off and then they stick to my fingers. I need to have someone help me or they'll stick there all day. I think it's all the iron.

Quack!

And They All Fell Down and Died. The End.

The other day the kids were on each other's nerves. It had been a busy weekend and I had been busy and not giving them the attention they deserved. Everyone needed a break. So, I sat down on a kitchen chair, pulled out one of the many library books I had recently borrowed and began to read. I started with Sleepless Beauty by Frances Minters - a rather cute retelling of the Sleeping Beauty story in modern times and in rhyme. There was some confusion over the end because it ended differently than the original, but I think everyone was OK with that.


Then we went on to Grandma Chickenlegs by Geraldine McCaughream - a retelling of the Russian folk tale of Baba Yaga. It was cute and colorful and everyone enjoyed that as well.

Then, last, we went onto The Tinderbox by Hans Christian Andersen. It's a tale about a soldier who acquires a magic tinderbox that summons three dogs to do his bidding. I vaguely remembered the story from my childhood, but not in detail, so I had borrowed it from the library. Well, let me tell you it's quite the story! And not necessarily in a good way. I rather expected the soldier to be a good guy, but by the end of the story, amid my exclamations of "My Goodness!" And "This is not at all like I remembered it!" we were all amazed. (and not necessarily in a good way.)

When the soldier killed the witch - well, OK. She was a witch (or was she just a harmless old lady?). Things like that happen in stories. But at the end, when he has his dogs brutally slaughter the king, the queen and the court, that was a little much. The king and queen weren't bad - they were only trying to keep the princess safe. Afterall, some crazy guy was kidnapping her. (The kids really got a chuckle out of the "and they were all tossed up into the air and they all fell back down and died" part. That was where I said "Oh my goodness!". They made me read that part twice.

Then, what does that stupid princess do? She happily marries the soldier! What sort of a crazy fool is she?!?! This detestible, psychotic, homicidal soldier comes along, kidnaps her, slaughters her family and she looks up at him with doe eyes and says "Oh, my hero."??? What sort of nonsense is that?!?! The kids were as appalled as I was in a 'what-a-stupid-story' kind of way. That was a couple of weeks ago now and Snickers in particular keeps bringing it up. The sheer stupidity of the ending and the overall lack of morals of the soldier is really bothering him.

I'm glad to see that my kids have some sense! Sure, it's a classic, but bah! Utter crap! Time to go back to the library to find some new stuff to read.
 
Quack!

Ask Me About My Book

So, the Hubbinator is writing a book. So far it's really good. Once it's done and published I'll put a link here. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about the Hubbster's new shirt. He got a shirt from a friend that says "Ask me about my book." He wore it the other day. He may never wear it again.

Everytime I, or one of the kids saw the shirt, we said, "So, tell me about your book." And without fail, every time he said, "Huh? What book?" It went like this:

Me: "Tell me about your book."
Hubby: "What?"
Sweet Pea: "So what about your book dad?"
Hubby: "Huh? What book?"
Snickers: "What about your book dad?"
Hubby: "What? What do you mean?"
Me: "Tell me a little about your book."
Hubby: "Huh? Oh! Grrrrr"

The last straw came when he got up Sunday morning and came down with the shirt on.

Doodlebug: "Hey Dad. What about your book?"
Hubby: "What? Huh?"
I pointed to his shirt.
Hubby: I'm not wearing this anymore!

Quack!

Christmas Cookie Season!!

It's Christmas cookie season! One of my favorite seasons! I have a legitimate excuse to bake. I've compiled a list of the cookies I'm planning including several traditional favorites and some new ones to try. I'm sure I won't have time to bake all of these this year. At least not and stay sane. But I'll pick a few favorites and will make plenty to share.

I'll even post pictures and recipes as I begin to get into the baking. Here are some of the things I'm planning on baking:
Butter cookie cutouts - These are a staple. Delicious plain, sprinkled, frosted and thumb-printed. You can't go wrong with these!

Chocolate pepper balls - These delicious little beauties are my favorites. The Hubinator hates them with a passion. The kids aren't too fond of them either. They are the 'bad habit cookies' because the recipe includes whiskey, coffee and lots of spices. The only thing missing (as the Hubby likes to point out) is the cigarette butts. Maybe I'll try that this year. And the thing is, looking over the recipe these are something I would never have made in a million years if I didn't know how good they were. They are chocolate cookies but the recipe includes a lot of spices including black pepper and cinnamon. It just sounds like a weird combination. Then toss in some whiskey and some melted shortning and you end up with a gluey, lumpy dough. It really looks
disgusting. Then when they are done cooking, they are rolled in a chocolate frosting that includes some whiskey and some coffee. The whole combination sounds disgusting to me. But for whatever reason these are toe-curlingly delicious! [Your mileage may vary]

Spritz - These are a favorite of Sweet Pea and Hubby. they always come out nice and tender and tasty.

Some other possiblities include peanut butter buckeyes and pizzelles (both favorites of the Hub), nutmeg logs, chocolate pinwheels, fudge, shortbread and something mint that I haven't quite decided on yet. So many possibilities so little time!

What are your favorites?




Quack!

Cat vs Gerbil - Round 1

So, we have a cat now. I know I know, I didn't tell you. I usually post every single little boring detail about the pets here, but I go and get a cat and don't even bother to mention it! Well, I'm mentioning it now. We have a cat. Got it at the SPCA in the easiest pet adoption ever. It was a piece of cake. (If you're looking for a cat or dog, most definitely check out your local SPCA - there were so many animals there and they made it so easy.)

Dutchess is the sweetest little kitty ever. She's not quite a year old and has super soft black and white long fur. She has a little pink nose with the cutest little black heart on it. Just look at that nose! And those whiskers!

But I'm not going to go on and on and on about how cute my little kitty is. Everyone has the best kitty and you don't want to hear about mine in nauseating detail.

But I will attempt to entertain you briefly with the tale of the kitty vs. the gerbil. You remember the gerbil right? Evil little red-eyed frosty - the most aggressive rodent since Godzilla (Godzilla was a rodent, right?) The one who will literally attack your hand when you reach in to feed him? Yes, that one.

The cat, being a cat, is fascinated by the gerbils. We have to close the door to the room they are in because she will circle and circle and circle the cages, and the poor little critters will thump their feet on the ground in some sort of gerbil warning system and will just look utterly terrified. So, to avoid torturing the gerbils, we keep the door shut. But the other day, the cat approached the cage and little frosty approached from his side. They were face to face. For a moment, they stared at each other, beady red eyes burning into bright yellow lamp-light eyes. The cat reached in with her nose for a sniff.

Frosty attacked! It was awesome! For several minutes we just watched as the cat would sniff, or reach out a paw and Frosty would attack. He was fearless. I think even without the bars of the cage there he would have attacked. I think he may even have preferred it if the bars were not there. He would have enjoyed grabbing onto that fuzzy feline with his wicked little gerbilly teeth and taking her down.

But we really like our new cat and didn't want it to end badly so we eventually split them up. Before the cat ended up with a bloody nose or paw or worse.

And at this point, I must say, in spite of his evilitude, I now have a certain amount of respect for the fearless little rodent. He stood up to a monster that outweighed him a hundred times over and given the chance Frosty would have ripped her to shreds or died trying. That takes guts.


Quack!

There's a Satyr in the House - Quick! Get My Pan Flute!

That's right. A satyr. You know. Those goat legged things from mythology class. Hairy goat legs. Yes. Those.

And no, this is not a post about how I hate and refuse to shave my legs. Because I do shave them. Often.

This is about pants. I was at a department store the other day and they had these big, bulky, fuzzy, furry, fleecy, ginormous pants for sale. They looked so so so cozy and warm. I've seen these all over the place this holiday season. I've seen them in the kids department with cutesy pictures of sheep and kitties and unicorns and hearts and rainbows all over them. I've seen them in the woman's department with animal print patterns and pictures of clouds and flowers and duckies and hearts all over them. And I've seen them in the men's department in dark manly colors. All are fuzzy. All are fluffy and warm. All are slightly ridiculous. You know the ones I mean.

So what did I do? Yes, I admit it. I bought a pair. For lounging around the house. Why, oh why would I do such a thing? Because they looked so warm and cozy. And winter here can be so cold and long. Admit it, you've thought of getting yourself a pair too.

And being me, and being tall and having a slight aversion to print pants, I got them in the men's department. Getting them there almost guarantees they will be long enough, whereas if I get pants in the women's department it virually guarantees they will be several inches above my ankle bone. (and really, who wants cold ankles?) It also guarantees that I won't have to walk around in sheep, rainbows or kittens. I mean, these huge furry things are ridiculous enough without covering them in some cutesy print pattern. Let's try to be a little subtle here, OK? And another plus is that the men's version often have pockets, which the women's version often do not.

So, dig if you will, a picture. (no, I can't just say, "picture this". It comes from hearing Prince too much in the 80's. I've been corrupted.) So, like I said, dig if you will, a picture, of me in these fuzzy pants. Very thick pants. Very bulky - the waist cinched in because they are a little too big, the pockets, bulky and lumpy around my hips. Very attractive, no?

So, anyway, I was wearing these pants the other morning before breakfast. The hubinator noticed them. I mean, how could he not, the bulk made it hard for him to squeeze past. It went something like this:

Hubby: (slightly incredulous) What are you wearing?
Me: Um, fuzzy pants.
Hubby: Those certainly are some fuzzy pants!
Hubby: It's like living with a satyr.
Hubby: All you need is a pan flute.

Needless to say, we both broke down in hysterical laughter. Both from the comments and from the sheer ridiculousness of those giant, fuzzy, bulky, but oh so cozy and warm, goat-leg-pants.

You should get some. If for no other reason than the entertainment value.

Quack!

Holy Yum Batman!! Mini Hot Fudge Cakes!

 First, prep your ramekins with a little cooking spray.

Then mix up some tasty ingredients:

Then cook 'em.
When they are done, take them out of the oven and admire them.

Then, of course, devour them right up.

Holy cow these were really delicious. Excellent chocolate flavor! Not overly sweet, but sweet enough for the hubby who is not fond of semi-sweet, bitter-sweet or anything less than sweet. Sort of like a brownie, but even better. Mmmmmm!

But don't take my word for it. Make some for yourself. Here's the recipe:  

Mini Hot Fudge Cakes

3/4 cup flour

2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp instant coffee powder
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup butter, softened
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
4 eggs
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup semi sweet or dark chocolate, finely chopped
2 tbsp powdered sugar

Sift together flour, cocoa, coffee powder, baking powder and salt.

In a large bowl, beat the butter with a mixer at medium speed about 1 minute. Add granulated and brown sugars, and beat until well blended. Add eggs and vanilla and beat until well blended.

Fold flour mixture into sugar mixture. Fold in chocolate.

Divide batter evenly among 10 4-oz ramekins. Arrange ramekins on a jelly-roll pan. Cover and refrigerate 4 hours or up to 2 days.

Preheat oven to 350.


Let ramekins stand at room temperature 10 minutes. Uncover and bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until puffy and slightly crusty on top. Sprinkle evenly with powdered sugar. Serve immediately.

Makes 10 servings.

Calories: 260 per serving and worth every calorie. Really!


Quack!

So, I finally finished painting Sweet Pea's room. That only took forever! Here are some pictures:

The bear peeking out from behind the dresser:

The bunny:

Some clouds (it's always fun to look for shapes in the clouds):

The tree full of porcupines, squirrels and birds:

Flowers and a hummingbird:

An owl in a tree:

Now, the painting is done, but the room isn't quite finished. I still need to make a few trees (you can see the trunks just waiting in the picture above with the owl). That's a project for another day.


Quack!