Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Hootie Fiasco

It's spring and every spring we have a few weeks where the ants come into the house to explore. We get the little tiny ones that check out the sink, the counters and the dishwasher and the bigger black ones that just wander through the entire house looking for whatever it is that those ants look for. After a few weeks they mostly go away. But I don't like bugs. Ants aren't the worst thing we could have wandering around, but they do have 6 legs so I prefer they stay outside.

So, there I am, working diligently on my computer when out of the corner of my eye I see movement. Movement of the bug variety. It's an ant. On the wall. In my computer room! Ugh! So I grab a very large boot and smash it. It falls down behind the desk. I'm satisfied. I get back to work.

I should also mention that I have a small collection of stuffed owls. Not, like, taxidermy stuffed, but plush toys. I have 4 identical Hooties sitting on a shelf. For whatever reason, I glanced at the Hooties and what did I see? An ant! Walking across Hootie 1's beak! Ugh! I can only assume that my awesome, spectacular, panicked boot-smash was less than effective. That the ant I 'smashed' simply tripped and fell behind the desk, then promptly brushed off his mandibles and got back to exploring, no doubt cursing the whole time.

Anyway, so there's this ant walking across Hootie! I very carefully picked Hootie up by a wing and quick as an owl in flight, I ran to the bathroom and shook him vigorously over the toilet in an attempt to dislodge the ant who was circling Hootie, probably looking for my fingers so he could climb up my arm.

Then, no surprise here, I lost my grip on Hootie and he tumbled into the toilet, ant and all.

Nooooooooo! Hoooootieeeee!

Hootie rolled once or twice and managed to dislodge the ant. I snatched Hootie up by the talon, leaving the ant behind. I quickly flushed the ant away, breathing a sigh of relief that it was gone and that Hootie was out of harms way - a bit damp, slightly wide eyed, but just fine.

Damn ants!


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