Monday, September 26, 2011

You've Seen It. You Can't Un-See It.

   I know. I know. Where have I been? I'm such a slacker! But anyway, on to other things.

Have you ever watched a movie, then realized that you just wasted an hour and a half that you could never get back? One of those "You've seen it. You can't un-see it"  moments. Well, I recently saw the movie 'Buried' with Ryan Reynolds. (Warning, this contains major spoilers)

What a terrible movie! The entire movie takes place in a box underground. Ryan Reynolds has been buried alive by terrorists. But they left him with a cell phone. Thank goodness. So, you spend the whole movie rooting for him, waiting for the final uplifting moment when he is rescued. When he is saved and reunited with his loved ones. When he gets to stick his middle finger up at the terrorists then get on with his life. But does that happen? Noooooooo! (said with great disgust).

At the very end, as they are digging him out, as the sand filters through the top of the box, threatening to bury him, piling higher and higher. As he yells and shouts into the cell phone, telling them to hurry. What happens? You hear on the cell phone, "Ooops. Wrong box." (or something very along those lines). Then the sand filtering through the box fills up the box, presumably burying him alive and filling his lungs with sand and then that's it.

Yep, that's right. The movie ends there.

No last minute breaking through the box. No sunlight streaming in. No coughing and gasping as he breaks through the sand and breathes in fresh air. No crying, tearful reunions. Just death, darkness and despair. What the *@#k!!!! You've gotta be kidding me!

I hate! Absolutely hate! Those kind of movies! I watch movies to be entertained. But not entertained by being horrified, depressed and angry. I want to be satisfied, happy even, when a movie ends. Inspired or joyous, sometimes thoughtful is OK. But I don't want the main character, or the main character's children and spouses and pets, to die in terrible ways (or in any way). Come on! If I want that crap I'll read the newspaper. I'll go to or

I want happiness damn it!

So, if you feel the same way I do, do not watch this movie! And whatever you do, don't watch 'What Dreams May Come' - that was a terrible movie too! One of those let's-see-how-many-terrible-things-can-happen-to-a-person-in-one-movie kind of movies. And also avoid Bridge to Terrabithia. I'm sure there are a few others I could mention but I try to put them out of my mind.


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