Monday, December 10, 2012

Sucked Into the Pipeworks

OK. So, I'm sure you're familiar with those automatically flushing toilets. Great invention those things. When they work. My problem is that they rarely work. And it's not just user-error. I make sure to step away from the thing, so it knows I'm done. I'll wave my arms or I'll do a dance. Sometimes I'll remain motionless, pressed against the door, waiting for it to realize I'm done and flush.

But no, more often than not I'm forced to flush it myself.  And since they are supposed to automatically flush, there is no obvious way to flush them manually. I end up searching all around the thing for the secret hidden trigger to set the flusher in motion. Sometimes it's a little tiny button on the wall, sometimes a little tiny lever on the back of the toilet, sometimes a little button buried down in the middle of the pipes behind it all. In any case, it's a pain in the rear!

I really should just leave and not mess with finding the uber-secret trigger, but that's gross. No one wants to walk into the stall and see what I've left behind. I mean, really. Yuck!

So, I run my hands all over the pipes and toilet parts until I find the secret button. Then I go out and scrub my hands under hot water with extra soap for 10 minutes.

The other day I had the pleasure of visiting one of these little beauties that actually worked. And by 'worked', I mean it auto-flushed. However, I do not mean that it auto-flushed at the right time. In this case, it auto-flushed while I was sitting there. And not only did it auto-flush, but it auto-flushed with such power, such exuberance, such sheer, watery delight, that I was drenched. Yes, that's right. I actually put this on the internet. But we won't go into more detail than that. I suppose I should be grateful that I wasn't sucked into the pipeworks.

Now don't get me started on the automatic sinks and hand dryers!


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