I am not meant to perform in public. It's just not me. I prefer to remain in the background, well-hidden if at all possible.
a few weeks back Snickers, Hubby and I got our black belts! As part of
the Black Belt Graduation ceremony we had to participate in a
demonstration. And not just any demonstration, but a demonstration in
front of about 100 people.
In a public place.
On a stage.
About as far out of my comfort zone as I could be. (In face, I was
having flashbacks to my botched kindergarten play where I ended up in
tears on stage in front of a laughing audience - scarred for life! But
in truth, I don't actually remember that experience, but I've heard the
stories. I think I must have walled that unpleasantness off in some far
corner of my mind where it would never surface again.)
any case, back to the topic at hand. We performed as part of a group and
solo. Snickers and the Hubby were fine - relaxed even. And while I
wasn't too nervous, I did manage to mess up in just about every possible
way (just minor things thank heavens!). But the good news is, I managed
to fake my way through it without being too obvious, without falling off
the stage and without collapsing in tears on the stage (I have a
history of that as I mentioned above). But as Sweet Pea so nicely
pointed out, in all the group demonstrations I was about 1/2 step behind
everyone else. Oops. Maybe I secretly like to be noticed.
But it's over and done with and as long as I never see any recordings of it I'll continue to think I did just fine.