Friday, March 4, 2011

I Could Really Go For Some Rice Krispies (Car Part 2)

 So, the other day I ranted about purchasing a new car. Today I'm going to rant about my old car. (This post will be shorter. I promise).

Let me tell you, that Grand Am was one of the noisiest cars I have ever owned!

First off, it was a great little car. I really liked it. It was comfortable, looked nice, didn't have too many problems (until the big one at the end) and was generally a real nice car. The sound system was a little flaky at times but that was a minor annoyance.

But, did you notice how I said it was a great LITTLE car. Yes, the operative word is 'little'. Those of you who know me know that I am tall. Those of you know me even better, know that I have very noisy knees. Those of you who know me really well know that I have been known to complain sometimes.

Dig if you will a picture (yes, I can't seem to say 'picture this'. It goes back to my 80's youth):

  • Car stops. Car is turned off. Door opens.
  • I turn and put one leg out. I start to rise. [grunt] [creaking of knees begins] My knees are at about the level of my nose at this point - the car was rather low to the ground.
  • [grunt] [heave] [creeeeeaaaaak of the knees]
  • I'm halfway up at this point. A vision of clowns being vomited up out of teeny tiny car flits through my head.
  • "Crap! My purse is stuck on the gear shifter thingie." [Yank]
  • [creeeeaaak]
  • "Damn! This car is too low! Someday I'm going to get a car for normal size people!" A vision of a giraffes rising from a restful night in the early morning sunrise, legs akimbo and unfolding like origami, flits through my head.
  • [creeeeeeaaaaak] [crackle] [pop] (Suddenly I could go for some Rice Krispies.)
  • "Ugh! I made it"

    Finally, I've unfolded myself from the car. The cacophany of creaking knees, grunting and cursing at small cars is deafening. 

  This is definitely the noisiest car I ever owned!


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