MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING! (Tuna Adventures)

At the grocery store a month or so back I found an awesome little gadget. They've probably been around forever, but this is the first time I ever saw one. It's a can strainer:

You put it on the top of the can, tip and all the juices spill out, leaving the food behind. Cool, huh? Especially cool for straining tuna.

This is what used to happen when I opened a can of tuna:
Get out the can opener and open the top of the can.
The cover is loose now, so press it down to squeeze out the tuna water (I like the kind packed in water, not oil).
A few drops of water drip down the drain.

The rest of the water squirts out from around the edges like a lawn sprinkler, spraying me, my clothing, the sink, the walls, the counter, my eyes (MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!) and everywhere else. And along with the water are little bits of tuna.

Into the sink.

Onto my clean shirt.

Into my eyes.

 Onto my passing husband.

Onto the cat.

Oh. Wait. I don't own a cat. Well, you get the idea. Tuna shrapnel everywhere! It's a stinky, messy, gross, mess.

Then, ooh, aah, along comes The Tuna Strainer. And now suddenly, when I prepare tuna I hear birds chirping! I see rainbows and kittens! I smell flowers! The sun comes out and all is right with the world! Tuna has never been so wonderful!

Quack!