Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Laughter Follows Me Wherever I Go

  Remember this post from way back where I talked about my pan pants -those awesomely warm, yet ridiculously funny looking pants that I would wear around the house? Well, speaking of ridiculous, not only do I own pan pants, but I also own a Couch Cozy!

Now, you know all about Snuggies, right? Everyone had a Snuggie a few years ago. Well, in my opinion Snuggies have some major failings. You can't walk around in a Snuggie - first it opens, exposing your back (hopefully clothed) to the cold air, then it falls right off. And those sleeves are way too big - flapping around and getting into stuff like soup, batter, dirt, flames, etc. A Snuggie is really only good if you're sitting still. And, as you may know, I rarely sit still. So a Snuggie is useless to me.

I tried one on one of the rare occasions when I was sitting on the couch watching TV and it involved an incredible amount of shifting and squirming trying to get it to stay put on my shoulders. After each squirm, I had to get my hands back under where it was warm. Then a shoulder would slip off. When I finally got it in place I froze - if I didn't shift so much as a millimeter, it would stay, right? But really, how long can I stay frozen in one position? It's only a matter of minutes before a cat, or a child, runs across my lap, sniffs my hair or body slams me, and then it's all Snuggie and hair and flailing limbs careening all over the couch. It's not pretty.

But a Couch Cozy is awesome! I have no idea where I got this thing or if the name is its official name, or something I made up. I've had it about 10 years now I guess. It's like a blanket sleeper, but different. The difference lies in the configuration of the legs. Where a blanket sleeper has two legs - like pants, a Couch Cozy is just a bag with sleeves and foot holes (sounds attractive, no?) It has elastic bands at the wrists and ankles and a zipper up the front. When I wear it I look like the biggest, craziest, flying squirrel you've ever seen. And did I  mention that it's bright red? Yes, it is! There is no missing me when I'm wearing my Couch Cozy.

Child: Have you seen Mom?
Father: Hmmm. I saw a big red flying squirrel in the kitchen, but I haven't seen your mother (at least not that I'm willing to admit). Check the basement.

Its fleece, so it's incredibly warm. After about five minutes with it on I usually tear it off (much to the relief of my family) panting and lamenting how hot it is! But even better, it's got to be the single most ridiculous thing I have ever worn in my life. I chuckle just thinking about it. I giggle whenever I see it hanging in the closet, I chortle when I touch the fuzzy fleeciness of it. I laugh as I slip my feet into the foot holes. I guffaw as I zip the zipper up to my neck. I roflmao when I catch sight of myself in the mirror with it on.

And for some unexplainable reason, when I wear it, laughter seems to follow me wherever I go.



  1. I don't want to be responsible for causing injuries when my readers fall on the floor, laughing and gasping for breath. lol